The Horn Blast of Grief

My husband bought this very loud horn once. He found it at a flea market and he and a friend each purchased one. Why did they want a loud horn? They were grown up boys. They liked honking it when people least expected it just to scare or startle them. Then they would cackle in heaps of laughter at their antics.
I myself have been the recipient of that horn blast on numerous occasions.
I knew it was in the house, I even knew where it was. There were times I caught the sneaky look in my husbands eye as his gaze was fixed on it's location or I would catch him in the act of retrieving it. Even after I said don't honk that thing at me, as soon as I turned my back to him, he still did it anyway. Sometimes I would jump even though I knew it was coming. But his most fun was catching me off guard and blasting me causing me to yelp! That usually happened when I was busy in another part of the house or outside and did not see or hear him come home.

I know, you probably think, the girl is lost to grief.

Well, no, not really. That crazy horn makes me think of grief though.

You see, like the horn, I know grief exists.
I know that there will be times I will need to be prepared for it to hit me.
All of the BIG things, holidays, celebrations, family gatherings.
I can cover my ears and wait for the honk , power through it and move on.

Then there are the small triggers, unexpected mail, a song on the radio, smells, tastes, sights, stillness.
I may not know it's coming but I understand why when it does. Many times I can't hold back the tears. I just go with the moment, have a good cry and move on.

But oh, those silent moments when grief hits you. No warning, no trigger, just BAM!
That's when I YELP the loudest. When I feel the worst. That is when I think maybe I have lost it.
That is when I feel most distressed and confused. I have no idea what I'm crying for, I'm just crying or sobbing.
My faith tells me it won't last forever. I just need time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,2,4

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 2 a time to be born and a time to die,... 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,