Friday, April 25, 2014

Today I made oatmeal

I thought I had rounded a corner of sorts.
Spoke with Habitat for Humanity and I'm looking forward to being involved in something constructive and less self. I even made a huge leap in self control when a day with errands that could have been emotionally breaking ended just tired.
Those errands included a visit to the funeral home to order my husbands V.A. plaque.
A final filing of the guardianship I had to file yearly, this one included his death certificate.
And the visit for information on volunteering. During that visit I told someone I needed to find a purpose for myself since my husband died. I didn't even choke up when I said it. That seemed huge to me.

Yes, it seemed that things might just be melding into a new normal.

This morning, I made a bowl of oatmeal.
As I stirred it, the whole world seemed to collapse and my tears fell with it.
UGH!
This grief roller coaster is as hard as the lewy body one.
I just want to ride the kiddy train now.

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