A year of firsts are always hard. Might as well jump in the deep end, so Valentines Day was a good place to start. You always think the BIG events would be hard, but reality for me is the small things are most difficult.
The moon was big bright and beautiful last night. I love the moon. It comes up right at the end of my driveway. When we built our house I started telling people that my husband loved me so much he gave me the moon. I used to ask him to come look at it with me. Lots of times he did, but not always. I stepped outside in the cold to watch the big red circle rise. As I stood there I was overwhelmed by it's beauty and burst into prayerful tears.
A nightly ritual with an almost 3 yr old grandson had me praying to keep my heart guarded. I began dreading nite nite kisses before it was even close to time.
Psalm 4:1 Answer me when I call to you,
my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
Fortunately he came, offered kisses and never said anything else as he went to bed.
Another blessing.
I'm tired but making myself go to bed is difficult. I actually sleep, when I finally do. The dogs keep me tucked in, one on each side of me in close contact. I knew I shouldn't have but I got up anyway and brought the box of cremains to the bed and laid them on my husbands side. I'll try not to do that again, it's not a good thing emotionally but I needed to do it, at least once.
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