Valentines

The funeral home called yesterday afternoon and said that my husbands cremains were ready. That was faster than I expected. His certificates were also ready, that was a surprise. My son accompanied me to the funeral home, the other kids all volunteered to go too, the sons volunteering was more of a statement. I was fine with that.
It's valentines day. Ashes and certificates are a far cry from candy and flowers.
I feel like I have no direction and someone needs to point the way for me.
Slowly the direction comes, just when I need it and not overwhelmingly. A letter from the Social Security office informed me to make an appointment. The said bring my marriage certificate. It was an emotional retrieval. At least it's a step forward.

There are so many things to take care of around the house, I don't know where to start. I managed to throw away a pair of old house shoes that belonged to my husband without incident but after that I was paralyzed to do anything else.
I wish cleaning was part of my grief.
I guess I could do one thing a day until the process becomes easier. I'll have to start with what I can do and it seems like my husbands candy drawer is as good place as any to start.